Wow... Highlight of my week was being able to go for sonicfest on thursday and friday. Let me just say for the record that I really enjoyed planet shakers. They were quite distracted by the quality of the sound, which to be fair, was not as good as it should be. The thing is, when I went back on friday, they sounded a lot better. Smoother and more rehearsed. I actually thought that I'd spent too much energy dancing and singing to planetshakers that I wouldn't have enough for sonicflood. But sonicflood were a different class totally. Their musicianship and skill were almost flawless. But the thing that really got me was Rick Heil's (Sonicflood frontman) ability to really worship. He was able to sing in the spirit with new songs. His testimony is an amazing one. You can read it here.

Padang duty has been a really boring time. I enjoy laying lines more than sitting on a bench for 12 hours. Just a bit more before National Day is over. The only thing I enjoy about the duty is the wonderful view of the fireworks that are displayed at 8pm...Just beautiful!

Sleep calls...

I got guard duty tomorrow. This situation really sucks. Its kinda too late to change now unless I pay someone to do it. Or if I 'force' my buddies to do it for me. But its not fair for them too.

Dear God, I pray that by tomorrow morning I'll be healed and refreshed. Thank you that sickness cannot stay in my body unless I allow it to. Thank you for your healing and your forgiveness in my life. Thank you for giving me the ability to carry out these pointless activities with joy. In Jesus' precious name, Amen!

Hmmm... I've fallen sick. I just got back from the doctor. I've got a 38.1 degree celcius temperature. Going back in tomorrow night.

I escaped going to the padang again this morning. Really felt kinda horrible when I woke up. But I thank God I don't have to waste my time there. Next week will be another opportunity to waste time though. I won tickets to the National Day Preview through a lucky draw. Don't think I will be going for it though. I have 2 options.

1) I can give the tickets to my brother and Yvette as a present.
2) I can sell them to a guy from my company.

I'm screwing up... again. I hate it when I'm wrong. Why is it that whenever an opportunity rises to screw up, I always take it? I still have a chance to make this right though.

I'm home!!! I shouldn't be but I am... I'm supposed to be at the padang today but I had a slight stumble yesterday during the battalion run so I don't have to go. Scraped my knee on the curb. I didn't fall so I continued running. I didn't notice the wound till after about 2km when I looked down and saw a bright red patch on my knee. I didn't stop till the halfway point of the run. Had to let the medic take a look at the wound. The funny thing is, I was supposed to be the last runner together with Jenson... And our role was to ensure the safety of the runners. (eg. No one falls and gets left behind.) How ironic.

And so this morning, I woke up pretty late. My knee was stiff. And I had a runny nose. Basically feeling kinda bad so I skipped breakfast and contemplated how I was to escape going to the padang. After much thought, I decided to report sick. But I was too lethargic to go to the medical centre till about 11am. (Its a 2km walk/limp!)

The medics who dressed my wound were strange/funny. There was this guy who was dressing a wound for the first time and this lao jiao (more experienced & senior) medic who was rating him. Then the lao jiao was like screaming, in a hilarious way, at the newbie because he was not doing it properly. I found it uncomfortably funny that they were discussing the wrong way of dressing a wound in front of me. Then the medic who tended to me yesterday walked in. And the lao jiao was scolding him for taking advice from a storeman on how to clean my wound yesterday.

I REALLY hope we don't go to war.

Here I am again... sitting in one of the offices in the supreme court building. Got called here for NDP at the last minute. Hopefully they will release us at 5 o'clock. Sigh... I miss home. At least they have internet here...

I went for bible study at The Rock in Suntec City yesterday. I had to rush down in a cab. The journey took like 45 minutes and i felt carsick because of the way the cabbie was driving... And the cost of the cab ride was $19.40... Insane. Hopefully I'll be able to leave camp earlier for next week's session. I loved the worship there. I miss having such wonderful worship. We used to have that kind of worship at our church. Maybe not as technically skilled as the musicians and vocalists at The Rock but it was there... I don't know what happened the past few weeks. Is it me or is it the bands? I just find that our worships are becoming more jarring.

Pastor Derek Prince was talking alot on the message of grace. About how we're the generation that will see the rapture. And about how the modern day church is not moving into the 'Holy of Holies'. (The place where the ark and the presence of God was residing in the temple of God) And about how we've simply remained in 'the Holy Place', which isn't a bad thing by the way, just that we've got so much more in store for us. One thing that got me thinking was what Pastor Prince said...

"Jesus died to rid us of sin-conciousness."
I always thought why we worship Him in the first place was because we know how sinful we are and how holy He is. And that He chose to love us anyway and take away our sins. Does that mean we know no more sin? Or we are no longer conscious or aware of sin?
Something to think about.....

I'm in the XS room right now... Waiting for either my parents or my brother to come pick me up. We're going to celebrate my brother's birthday at some chinese restaurant in commonwealth. I'm not a big fan of chinese food, but its not my birthday. Don't think it was dale's idea to eat there either.

This week in camp has been a unsettling one. I hate the feeling of uncertainty but there's nothing that we can do about it. Just have to use whatever time i have to relax. But there's always a threat that there might be last minute instructions for us to do something. So anyway, friday was the epitome of my whole week. We had to book out to go to the Padang at City Hall to help out. I ended up walking up and down the stretch of the padang to the 4 phone booths in between Raffles City Shopping Centre and Marina Square Shopping Centre. My feet hurt at the end of that day...

Which brings me to my next point. I'm tired & I need a break... A retreat to think things through. I miss the days where I could just run off to the airport or to plaza singapura, find a nice corner to sit, eat, listen to music, read, pray and write. The problem with being responsible is that you have to be responsible even though going away to recharge would allow you to do a better job. You can't just stop.

I have been pleasantly surprised by Joel last week. Its things like this that make it worth carrying on. Jean Francois also surprised me by messaging me to be his mentor. I need time to settle down first before I decide to. Its no good mentoring if my own life is in a mess.

::: Thought of the Day :::
Sometimes you have to do things even if you don't like it.
But sometimes you have to question the purpose and not do things blindly.
Ask smart questions and you'll be safe.

This week has been hectic. In a way that it stresses you to think of the upcoming exercises. Not to mention the various duties we have to perform every day as a Duty Sergeant (DS), or every month as a Company Orderly Sergeant (COS) or guard commander. It'll take me a little more time to get used to the lifestyle. It has privileges, no doubt, but I don't want to get extras for nothing.

If I was a singer-songwriter, this would be how I'd put it.

::: Song of the Day :::
Still a little bit of your taste in my mouth
Still a little bit of you laced with my doubt
Still a little hard to say what's going on

Still a little bit of your ghost, your weakness
Still a little bit of your face I haven't kissed
You step a little closer each day
I can’t say what's going on

Stones taught me to fly
Love, taught me to lie
Life taught me to die
So it's not hard to fall
When you float like a cannonball

Still a little bit of your song in my ear
Still a little bit of your words I long to hear
You step a little closer to me
So close that I can't see what's going on

Stones taught me to fly
Love, taught me to lie
Life taught me to die
So it's not hard to fall
When you float like a cannon..
Stones taught me to fly
Love, taught me to cry
So come on courage
Teach me to be shy
'Cause it's not hard to fall
And I don't wanna scare her
It's not hard to fall
And I don't wanna lose
It's not hard to grow
When you know that you just don't know
| Damien Rice - Cannonball |